It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
