Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
