so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
