Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
