Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
