I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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