No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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