smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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