I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
