i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My ass is underappreciated
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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