yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
