I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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