You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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