I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
