i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
