I'm really into asian looking animals
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
