Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
