How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
