foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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