btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
