then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
