she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
