I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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