She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
