My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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