well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
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