highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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