NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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