you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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