Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
