Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
