What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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