These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
