if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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