I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
