That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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