me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
