is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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