Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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