She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
