Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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