the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I've blown a few things in my day
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
