Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
