Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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