yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
