who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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