Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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