She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
