just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
