just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
