I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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