She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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